I’m Learning To Thank God For This

I’ve been taking my anti-depressant for nearly three months now. And I will say, they are really helping.  I don’t want to have to take this medication, but I know I have to.

As a Christian, I have gone back and forth in whether or not I believe that I should take antidepressants or just trust God to help me through and heal me from the depression and anxiety.  As well, for so long there has been a stigma against taking anti-depressants.  People tend to think that if you take them, you are not trusting God or you are weak. It’s not the case for either.

I have a chemical imbalance in my brain. And while I do believe that God can heal me from this if He chooses, I also believe that He created scientists who discovered a medication that can help me live a more balanced life.  Medication isn’t from the devil. It’s a tool that can be used positively to help me, and people like me, function the way we were meant to.

I thank God for  His hand in all of this. I thank Him for creating medicine (He is the great physician and healer, after all), for creating science, for creating the people who were responsible for the discovery of a medication that can help so many people live the lives God called us to live.

When I was in the midst of my depression, I had a hard time trusting that God was there, and a hard time believing that He would help me through it all. I couldn’t see clearly for the fog that clouded my eyes and my judgement. But, the Lord was there with me.  He has been with me every step of the way through this. He was with me when it was so hard to get out of bed each day, when it was difficult to think or function as a “normal” human being. He was with me when I had meltdowns, when I felt like I was going crazy. He never left my side.  And He still hasn’t.  God is still with me, and has never left my side.  His word tells us that He will never leave us nor forsake us.  And I believe that to be true.

I am very thankful that I am now able to function so much better. I am very thankful for the Lord, and for the medication that I can take to help me.  I’m very thankful for a community of supporters who have been with me along this difficult journey, who have lifted me up, prayed for me, let me cry, and now they are there to rejoice with me for overcoming the battle. And I’m especially thankful for my husband who has been there for me, who has helped me to see that there was (and is) a light at the end of the tunnel. He was and is my biggest supporter, and he never once left my side (even when I feared my depression would drive him away).  He never once stopped loving me through the pain, the fear and the darkness. He held my hand, gently reminded me that it wouldn’t last forever, held me when I felt like I was falling apart, and constantly prayed over me. I have so much to be thankful for!

I’ll likely have to take medication for depression and/or anxiety for the rest of my life. And while I do have days where I wish I didn’t have to be on antidepressants, I’m learning that it’s OK that I need them in order to balance out the chemicals in my brain so that I can be a “normal” human being.  I’m learning to accept that anti-depressants will have to be a part of my life now. And I’m learning to thank God for this.