New Start

Something I have Lacked Most of My Life

Confidence.

The ability to believe in yourself.

It’s something I have lacked most of my life.  It’s something I have struggled with for so long.

I have watched and listed to many confident men and women, from all walks of life, and have always wished I could be as confident as they were/are.  The desire was, and is, real.  It’s something I have worked at, and something that I have felt at times that I failed at miserably.

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Now, I’m taking steps to help build up my confidence.  One of these steps is to pray for it.  The other is to do things – speak in front of others, particularly – to help build this characteristic in myself.  In the last month or so, my self-confidence has grown.  And it’s somewhat surprising, because I haven’t really noticed. Others have. Others have commented on it – some good, some not so good.

I’ve had someone say that they thought there was something different about me, and they felt I wasn’t approachable any more.  That hurt. I didn’t know what to think. I mentioned this to someone else, and they said they saw that I had changed as well, that I was more confident – and that was a good thing!

Personally, I hadn’t noticed any change in myself, but looking back over the last three weeks, I can see it a little. I don’t think it’s a lot, but it’s enough to see.  I’m not cocky, and I’m not arrogant. There’s a difference.

After receiving that negative comment, I admit that it bothered me – a lot.  I ruminated over it. And, I almost let it beat me.

But, I didn’t.

I prayed and have decided that if someone can’t accept me as being more confident in myself, then that is their problem.

As they say, a change will do you good. And I’m making changes – good ones, positive ones, and I don’t think I should stop that for anyone.

 

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