Today Was A Better Day

The bulk of this week was not great for me. Not only have I been dealing with my depression and anxiety, but Sunday afternoon family members shared some terrible news with us. It devastated me. And I found myself spiralling downward quickly.

Both Monday and Tuesday I had what I can only describe as breakdowns while trying to get ready for work. I couldn’t seem to function. I stood in the bathroom, attempting to get into the shower; all I could do was stand there, sobbing uncontrollably. All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed, cover my head, and disappear for awhile.  I didn’t want to face the world.

My husband was there for me. He held me, hugged me, told me it was OK to cry. He prayed for me. And he encouraged me. He reminded me that I’m not alone, that he is going to be with me through this, and that it will get better. I love him dearly for that (amongst other things).

Today, though, I woke up and I managed to get through the day without feeling hopeless, without feeling like my world was imploding. Today I was able to smile, to laugh, to feel almost myself again.

I’m not saying that I am over this, that the depression is gone, that my meds have suddenly kicked in and everything is hunky dory.  But, today was better. Today I made it through 15 hours without crying.

I have had many people praying for me, encouraging me to lean on the Lord. I’ve prayed. I’ve asked for strength. I’ve tried to not focus on little upsets that have happened today. And I made it through.

Today was a better day.

I know there are still going to be down days ahead, but I also know I’m not alone in this. I know Jesus is walking with me. He’s here for me, to give me strength, to dry my tears, to give me support as I walk along through the darkness, to light my way.

And for that, I am thankful.